Cool breeze come on in, sunshine come on down… Harry Potter and the 2nd Amendment

Many of you know that my RSS reader is nothing short of magical.  Not only do I stay well informed about issues taking place in the real world, somehow I managed to get news delivered from fictional ones as well.  The below was found amid my feeds.


Wands Don’t Kill People, Dark Wizards With Wands Kill People: Lupin

Moves by the Ministry of Magic to regulate wand ownership has outraged community groups.  Ted Lupin, President of the ultra-conservative Order of the Phoenix, addressed a community forum late yesterday, calling for traditionalists to take up arms against government regulation.

‘It’s just like when the Ministry took over Hogwarts.  Of course the Ministry doesn’t want people capable of defending themselves,’ he said.  ‘The greatest threat to liberty isn’t the resurrection of Voldemort.  After all, that’s happened seven times in the last decade alone.  The greatest threat to liberty is the government trying to regulate wands.’

But the Ministry remains resolute.  Spokesperson for the Wand Reform Taskforce, Praenomen Nomendiculus, tried to reassure members of the public that the Ministry only had the safety of the community at heart.

‘We take children — regardless of their situation or mental stability — and give them wands even before their first day of school.  No training.  No questions.  No accountability.  Let us not forget that when Gellert Grindelwald, easily the most fearsome and powerful of history’s dark wizards, was expelled from Durmstrang, he was stripped of his access to homework and Quidditch festivals, but was not stripped of his wand.  And didn’t Olivander’s hand Voldemort his first wand without any background checks into his history of torturing children at an orphanage?  It’s irresponsible and it’s time to move the wizarding world into the 1900s.’

Wandmaker and small business owner, Lincoln Olivander, whose father founded the business, refuted the claims of the Ministry.

‘It’s not the place of wandmakers and wandsellers to invade the privacy of law-abiding ten-year olds,’ Olivander told The Daily Prophet.  ‘Sure, Voldemort got his wand from my dad, but so did Harry Potter.  The best protection against bad guys with wands is good guys with wands.’

Political insiders suspect this will be another policy failure for the Minister for Magic, who last year failed to move a referendum to confer legal rights to sentient magical creatures, such as house elves, centaurs, snakes, paintings, mermaids, giant spiders, cars, and enchanted diaries.


Author: Mark Fletcher

Mark Fletcher is a Canberra-based blogger and policy wonk who writes about conservatism, atheism, and popular culture. Read his blog at OnlyTheSangfroid. He tweets at @ClothedVillainy

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