And here I am fighting, fighting… but I still wouldn’t fight Batman.

Over at, they’ve made the ridiculous assertion that Superman would win in a fight with Batman.  Given that I’m doing some extreme procrastination today, I figured that I would do what every nerd does deep down in his blackened nerdy heart: get really worked up about a trivial bullshit matter.

We can imagine a number of things which might slow Batman down.  He is not impervious to, say, bullets shot from a gun.  But it’s never a one-shot fatality with Batman.  Why?  Because Batman is hyper-aware of his vulnerabilities and never allows anybody to come close to them.

Superman, however, has only one vulnerability and it seems that everybody in the DC Universe knows what it is.  I was watching The Batman this morning which — coincidentally enough — involved a fight between Batman and Superman.  Superman had gone evil, so Batman loaded him up with Kryptonite.  After Superman crashed to the ground with the Kryptonite, a few teenagers passing by noticed Superman and the Kryptonite.  ‘Kick the Kryptonite away!’  says one kid to the other.

Yup.  Even adolescents know all about Superman’s one-shot kill vulnerability.

So unless Superman can somehow take Batman out first shot and completely by surprise (which, as we noted earlier, is impossible), Superman’s stuffed and cannot possibly win.

In other news:


Author: Mark Fletcher

Mark Fletcher is a Canberra-based blogger and policy wonk who writes about conservatism, atheism, and popular culture. Read his blog at OnlyTheSangfroid. He tweets at @ClothedVillainy

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